March 31, 2019

Parthenon Marbles to return due to Brexit mixup

Posted at 11:08 pm in Elgin Marbles

A leaked memorandum from the UK’s Ministry of Culture seems to indicate that ownership of the Parthenon Sculptures may have accidentally been transferred to Greece.

In the document, Secretary of State for Jeremy Correct calls for an urgent meeting to discuss how various laws had been amended to say that the UK only held the sculptures on loan and would be returning them to Greece in the next year.

It is thought that the mix-up was due to the fact that with the government bringing through so many Statutory Instruments to update laws in advance of Brexit, that ministers were just signing off whatever came across their desks. It is understood that the file containing all the amendments was hacked by a group of exiled Greek dodekatheists. Our sources believe that they learned the password from this file after bribing Olivia King – A former whip who had previously been involved in discussions about Uganda with former Secretary of State for Culture Don Whittingdale.

We have been led to understand that rather than suffering the embarrassment of admitting to this error, the government has decided that the full return of the Parthenon Marbles will be returned later today (Monday 1st April).

We will keep you posted with any updates.

A bunch of random dodekatheists

A bunch of random dodekatheists

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