One of the many famous utterances of Homer Simpson, is that “it’s funny ’cause it’s true”. The same could be said of this spoof article – aside from the idea of sending modern day looters there, which hasn’t been suggested yet by the government, but it doesn’t take too much stretching of the imagination to imagine it happening.

Afterall, how could any modern day obstreperous larrikin hoping to save a couple of hundred pounds on a TV hope to compete with some of the great British looters of old, who are now revered as great adventurers, discoverers and protectors of world history.

The only thing that wouldn’t occur if it happened is people in the government managing to see the irony in the plan.

From:
Daily Squib

Looters of Summer 2011 Rehabilitated With Visits to British Museum
By Sir Neil Sloane 4 hours 50 minutes ago

LONDON – England – The Summer of 2011 was notable for the riots across Britain, and the chaos that ensued such riotous looting behaviour. There is some positive news about the people involved in the rioting, as government agencies have rehabilitated over 95% of the looters, sources claim.

“The looters of 2011 are all rehabilitated and cured. It was actually quite a simple operation to cure the majority of the looters and vandals who perpetrated such heinous bouts of rioting during the late Summer 2011. We simply took them on weekly excursions to the British Museum in London to show them that looting is a terrible crime and must be stopped at all costs,” Angela Brinkinstowe, a health worker at the government’s Loot Less Initiative told the Daily Mail.
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Following on from the comments made before about the London Riots, this article looks at how they compare to the looting of Benin in 1897 by British forces.

From:
Modern Ghana

Of Youths, London Riots, Benin Empire et al
By Augustine Togonu-Bickersteth
Feature Article | Sat, 20 Aug 2011

Example is better than precept so we should tell my Kid Brother, David Cameron, Prime Minister of United Kingdom in response to his utterances following the London riots characterised by looting and Arson following the fatal shooting of Mark Duggan by the London Metropolitan Police.

Those Youths and Arsonists are now being tried in Courts of Law for stealing things like Ice cream, Chewing Gum and Table Water. Some of the Youths are being charged for taking more tangible things like Ipods, Ipads,Lap Tops and Flat screen Televisions sets
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When the UK was beset by episodes of riots & looting in August 2011, parliament was (quite rightly) quick to condemn the actions of a small minority. It seems though that many of our museums are filled with artefacts acquired through episodes of similar behaviour – the only difference being that it took place in the past & in foreign countries.

On a similar note, some in the UK were quick to sit back smugly during the looting of Egypt’s museums, noting that it was fortunate that the UK had so many of their antiquities to protect them from such episodes. One wonders though, during bouts of lawlessness in the UK, whether the same people support the idea of shipping British artefacts abroad to safer places… permanently… with little chance of ever getting them back – and little choice in the matter?

From:
Guardian

UK riots: When is a looter a heroic entrepreneur?
Edward Lawrence
guardian.co.uk, Friday 19 August 2011 10.00 BST

Parliament denounced the 21st century Britons who looted their own high street, but 18th century looters who plundered distant nations to build the British Empire became heroes

The scenes of widespread mayhem and looting that were the main news items of the last week were profoundly shocking, and for me personally, a cause of deep anxiety. Because of my disability I felt vulnerable, which isn’t a sensation I exactly relish. It isn’t as if since my severe brain injury I have had a surfeit of good experiences.
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